I called my mum last night in tears.
I have been feeling really down lately and I am not really sure why... But i was certain that I wasnt oing to lose weight this week. I havent been bad, But i ceratinly havent been good. I feel NO different to what i did 8 weeks ago, My clothes dont feel different and i have only had 1 or 2 people say that i look different. So i was feeling very low and was DREADING getting on the scales this morning...
So you can imagine my double take when they told me that I was 1.7kg lighter than last monday...
Yes, thats right, somehow, even when i was sure i wouldnt, i lost 1.7kg last week.
That takes me to a grand total of 6.2kg in 9 weeks. Although its not where i wanted to be, i have to admit its still a great result.
onwards and upwards (although, really, downwards) x
Monday, 3 December 2012
Thursday, 29 November 2012
HELP! let me vent!
Ok so this post may not directly be linked to me losing weight, but i need to.... NEED TO get something off my chest...
I think that people that eat with their mouths open are just plain RUDE!
It is my pet hate to be able to hear someone eat.... it is like fingers down a black board.
You know what, its not even just eating with your mouth open, it is agressively chewing something aswell. There is just no need for it. Calm down, relax and enjoy what you are eating. You dont need to smash your carrot stick into tiny little pieces as hard as you can!!! Now, dont get me wrong, i know some foods are crunchy and that a little noise cant be helped, but there is a limit, I should know, i have done my fair share of eating.
I was bought up to acknowledge that eating with your mouth shut was polite and just plain good manners- Why do some grown people not understand this. I find it BEYOND frustrating!
Vent over, for now. x
I think that people that eat with their mouths open are just plain RUDE!
It is my pet hate to be able to hear someone eat.... it is like fingers down a black board.
You know what, its not even just eating with your mouth open, it is agressively chewing something aswell. There is just no need for it. Calm down, relax and enjoy what you are eating. You dont need to smash your carrot stick into tiny little pieces as hard as you can!!! Now, dont get me wrong, i know some foods are crunchy and that a little noise cant be helped, but there is a limit, I should know, i have done my fair share of eating.
I was bought up to acknowledge that eating with your mouth shut was polite and just plain good manners- Why do some grown people not understand this. I find it BEYOND frustrating!
Vent over, for now. x
Monday, 26 November 2012
How do people make it through life without a sister?
Upon reading my blog, GG sent me this...
http://voices.yahoo.com/causes-weight-gain-instead-weight-loss-while-6282144.html
Could i be any luckier than to have the 2 best friends ever, who also happen to be my sisters?
Sigh x
http://voices.yahoo.com/causes-weight-gain-instead-weight-loss-while-6282144.html
Could i be any luckier than to have the 2 best friends ever, who also happen to be my sisters?
Sigh x
Black Monday.
Today is a very Black day!
i dont want to talk to anyone, i dont want to see anyone, i want to stay in bed all day.
I havent felt this low in a REALLY long time!
i actually put on 100grams this week and I know its not much and i have still lost over 4 kgs in 6 weeks, but it hit me really hard. I am working so hard and trying with all of my will poweer to make this work, so when i take a step backwards i feel like a major failure.
All I want is to lose weight. Seriously! I would give up nearly everything in my life to be able to to lose the weight that i want.... It is so hard, doing this. Motivating myself, keeping in the end point in sight, knowing that what i am soing should be working...
You know, even last night I really just wanted to chill out on the couch, but I went for a run. It was the last thing i wanted to do, I had just got home from my parents house and really just felt like lying down and watching a movie, but i DIDNT!!!!!!
I still havent had any alcohol in 3 weeks, i dont eat chocolate or lollies, i dont have soft drink.... Seriously. what the frick! I am so angry and devastated about this week, completely crushed!
i dont want to talk to anyone, i dont want to see anyone, i want to stay in bed all day.
I havent felt this low in a REALLY long time!
i actually put on 100grams this week and I know its not much and i have still lost over 4 kgs in 6 weeks, but it hit me really hard. I am working so hard and trying with all of my will poweer to make this work, so when i take a step backwards i feel like a major failure.
All I want is to lose weight. Seriously! I would give up nearly everything in my life to be able to to lose the weight that i want.... It is so hard, doing this. Motivating myself, keeping in the end point in sight, knowing that what i am soing should be working...
You know, even last night I really just wanted to chill out on the couch, but I went for a run. It was the last thing i wanted to do, I had just got home from my parents house and really just felt like lying down and watching a movie, but i DIDNT!!!!!!
I still havent had any alcohol in 3 weeks, i dont eat chocolate or lollies, i dont have soft drink.... Seriously. what the frick! I am so angry and devastated about this week, completely crushed!
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Oops....
I havent had a very good week this week, at least thats how I feel...
I feel like i havent stuck to my eating like i should have been, not that i have been bad, havent eaten anything really that bad or had any alcohol or soft drink but i just feel as though i have been letting the odd thing slide... And i have had some lollies at work today... and instead of having rice crackers with tzatsiki for lunch i have been having chicken & mayo baguettes and the like... this makes me worried.
Also, my excersise hasnt been as full on as normal. Had horrible leg pains monday night and only walked around the tan before catcing the tram home... Had a rest on tuesday night cos i was off being social and just went for a walk around the tan last night with a friend...
SO... i have 4 days (3 and 1/2, really) to kick my arse back into gear.
Tonight, run round the tan AND netball. Steak and Veggies for dinner. Lock that in!
Going back down Geelong way on the weekend to see my parents, i will just make sure i dont eat too much and i will do some runs down there, nothing like a bit of fresh country air in your lungs...
God i hope i still have a good result this week, i will be devo'd if i havent lost a good amount....
Fingers crossed x
I feel like i havent stuck to my eating like i should have been, not that i have been bad, havent eaten anything really that bad or had any alcohol or soft drink but i just feel as though i have been letting the odd thing slide... And i have had some lollies at work today... and instead of having rice crackers with tzatsiki for lunch i have been having chicken & mayo baguettes and the like... this makes me worried.
Also, my excersise hasnt been as full on as normal. Had horrible leg pains monday night and only walked around the tan before catcing the tram home... Had a rest on tuesday night cos i was off being social and just went for a walk around the tan last night with a friend...
SO... i have 4 days (3 and 1/2, really) to kick my arse back into gear.
Tonight, run round the tan AND netball. Steak and Veggies for dinner. Lock that in!
Going back down Geelong way on the weekend to see my parents, i will just make sure i dont eat too much and i will do some runs down there, nothing like a bit of fresh country air in your lungs...
God i hope i still have a good result this week, i will be devo'd if i havent lost a good amount....
Fingers crossed x
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Only Human
Last night, despite a great result from the previous week, was one of my hardest tan expeditions to date.
On Sunday i went for a run and man did I push it, it was the BEST run i have done in the last 5 weeks, i really pushed myself to run that little bit harder and i felt amazing for it. I felt different while i was running and stronger and fitter and totally cuffed with myself.
Last night, different story. Different person it felt like.
I have been writing about how good running is making me feel and how it is such a great decision and i love it and its great and blah blah blah blah, well let me tell you, it certainly was not the case last night!
I wanted to crawl under a park bench and cry a little and maybe take a nap!
My legs were killing me, KILLING me and my body did just not want to do it, my mind wasnt there either. Honestly, it was just awful. So after i ran half the way and habbled the rest (God, i can imagine how pathetic i looked) i called my mum (Bless!) and had a massive whinge, perhaps a few tears, dont judge me, and got on the tram to take me up Toorak road. yes, the tram. yes, i felt massive amounts of guilt. But the worst part was the frustration. It has been 5 long weeks and i am starting to het results but i still have a day when i cant do it. i wanted to punch something last night, like really just unleash a beat down.... lucky i was alone!
But you know what? I AM only human, i am allowed to have an off day. I am allowed to hurt and struggle occasionally. And i most certainly am allowed to get frustrated and angry.
So tonight I am going to be social so i actually cant excercise and i am hoping a rest for 1 night will do me some good.
I will just have to punicsh the track tomorrow night. x
On Sunday i went for a run and man did I push it, it was the BEST run i have done in the last 5 weeks, i really pushed myself to run that little bit harder and i felt amazing for it. I felt different while i was running and stronger and fitter and totally cuffed with myself.
Last night, different story. Different person it felt like.
I have been writing about how good running is making me feel and how it is such a great decision and i love it and its great and blah blah blah blah, well let me tell you, it certainly was not the case last night!
I wanted to crawl under a park bench and cry a little and maybe take a nap!
My legs were killing me, KILLING me and my body did just not want to do it, my mind wasnt there either. Honestly, it was just awful. So after i ran half the way and habbled the rest (God, i can imagine how pathetic i looked) i called my mum (Bless!) and had a massive whinge, perhaps a few tears, dont judge me, and got on the tram to take me up Toorak road. yes, the tram. yes, i felt massive amounts of guilt. But the worst part was the frustration. It has been 5 long weeks and i am starting to het results but i still have a day when i cant do it. i wanted to punch something last night, like really just unleash a beat down.... lucky i was alone!
But you know what? I AM only human, i am allowed to have an off day. I am allowed to hurt and struggle occasionally. And i most certainly am allowed to get frustrated and angry.
So tonight I am going to be social so i actually cant excercise and i am hoping a rest for 1 night will do me some good.
I will just have to punicsh the track tomorrow night. x
Here it comes.....
So, obviously, yesterday was monday, so that equals weigh in day...... hold your breath....
ANOTHER 1.7KGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? well you better! that makes 3.2kgs in 2 weeks!
this is exactly the motivation that i have been craving to keep me going.
So here it comes, i can feel its about the start dropping off.... x
ANOTHER 1.7KGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? well you better! that makes 3.2kgs in 2 weeks!
this is exactly the motivation that i have been craving to keep me going.
So here it comes, i can feel its about the start dropping off.... x
Monday, 12 November 2012
hard words or too hard to hear?
Do you think that there are some things that you need to hear not matter how hard it is to hear them?
Do you think that hearing the hard things motivate you or do you think they just knock you down too much?
when they come from loved ones, you know they are coming from a place of love and support but does that make them hurt less?
I love my family, ALOT! they are my biggest fans and supporters and i would be totally and utterly lost without each and everyone of them.... And for the most part i really value their hoesty, more than i would value my friends....
i dont know what i am trying to say here, i guess things become a reality when you hear the thoughts you have been thinking inside your head spoken out loud, from someone else... Does this even make sense?
i feel like I am talking dribble and talking in circles, I guess what i am getting at is does it make it easier or harder to hear the truth?
For me i am sure that it has been a big motivater, not that the things i have heard have been easy to hear, but when you finally realise that people have noticed how big you have gotten and are agreeing with you when you say how much weight you want to lose, or even that you are overweight and need to lose weight, it makes it a reality. Well for me, it made it a reality and really lit that fire under me to finally commit to doing something about it.
Just want to make them proud x
Do you think that hearing the hard things motivate you or do you think they just knock you down too much?
when they come from loved ones, you know they are coming from a place of love and support but does that make them hurt less?
I love my family, ALOT! they are my biggest fans and supporters and i would be totally and utterly lost without each and everyone of them.... And for the most part i really value their hoesty, more than i would value my friends....
i dont know what i am trying to say here, i guess things become a reality when you hear the thoughts you have been thinking inside your head spoken out loud, from someone else... Does this even make sense?
i feel like I am talking dribble and talking in circles, I guess what i am getting at is does it make it easier or harder to hear the truth?
For me i am sure that it has been a big motivater, not that the things i have heard have been easy to hear, but when you finally realise that people have noticed how big you have gotten and are agreeing with you when you say how much weight you want to lose, or even that you are overweight and need to lose weight, it makes it a reality. Well for me, it made it a reality and really lit that fire under me to finally commit to doing something about it.
Just want to make them proud x
Down and UP!!!!
So... we all know that I had a pretty bad week last week. went up 1kg, worst resulkt EVER.
this week I lost 1.7!!!!!!! that is so massive, i am quietly pretty cuffed with myself today!
And i think i know the main reason.... I have not TOUCHED a drop of alcohol all week! thats pretty hard to ignore when i pull in the big results.
Although I am very happy with my results this week and feel like i can easily maintain the way i ate.excercised last week I am very weary of not getting too ahead of myself. Last time i lost a big amount i put weight on the next week.
Now i know i drank alot and my eating wasnt where it should have been but i just dont want to get that same dissapointment if i go backwards again so i just trying to keep it real.
keeping a lid on it x
this week I lost 1.7!!!!!!! that is so massive, i am quietly pretty cuffed with myself today!
And i think i know the main reason.... I have not TOUCHED a drop of alcohol all week! thats pretty hard to ignore when i pull in the big results.
Although I am very happy with my results this week and feel like i can easily maintain the way i ate.excercised last week I am very weary of not getting too ahead of myself. Last time i lost a big amount i put weight on the next week.
Now i know i drank alot and my eating wasnt where it should have been but i just dont want to get that same dissapointment if i go backwards again so i just trying to keep it real.
keeping a lid on it x
Monday, 5 November 2012
I'm pretty when I'm drunk....
I have not had a good week. put on 1 kg, yes, put on, but let's not dwell on that...
Lets think about why this happened.... oh yeah, i drank alot. Well maybe not alot, but more than normal!
monday night i went out to the pub and had a fair few glasses of wine, friday night went out for dinner and had the best part of a bottle of wine, saturday night went out and had more than a bottle of wine.
ok so i havent actually thought about it all together until just now and man do i feel stupid! what did i think was going to happen?
so here is my plan... i am not going to drink for the next 6 months..... YES! i am being deadly serious here! 2 exceptions, because let's face it, there has to be some exceptions.
1- Christmas, i already have plans to drink some good red wine with my dad and to be honest that is about the only thing i am looking forward to about Xmas day. (except of course spending the day with you, Mum!)
2- My birthday. hey, you only turn 26 once and birthdays should be fun and carefree!
what is really the point in drinking? tell me cos i would really like to know... it makes me forget about my issues, temporarily, and then i feel even worse the next day and then i put on weight. Oh yeah that makes total sense! duh!!
So now i have put it out there, to all of you. that i will not be a drinker anymore.
Water, anyone? x
Lets think about why this happened.... oh yeah, i drank alot. Well maybe not alot, but more than normal!
monday night i went out to the pub and had a fair few glasses of wine, friday night went out for dinner and had the best part of a bottle of wine, saturday night went out and had more than a bottle of wine.
ok so i havent actually thought about it all together until just now and man do i feel stupid! what did i think was going to happen?
so here is my plan... i am not going to drink for the next 6 months..... YES! i am being deadly serious here! 2 exceptions, because let's face it, there has to be some exceptions.
1- Christmas, i already have plans to drink some good red wine with my dad and to be honest that is about the only thing i am looking forward to about Xmas day. (except of course spending the day with you, Mum!)
2- My birthday. hey, you only turn 26 once and birthdays should be fun and carefree!
what is really the point in drinking? tell me cos i would really like to know... it makes me forget about my issues, temporarily, and then i feel even worse the next day and then i put on weight. Oh yeah that makes total sense! duh!!
So now i have put it out there, to all of you. that i will not be a drinker anymore.
Water, anyone? x
Friday, 2 November 2012
reason number 57829 to lose weight
.... So i dont get asked to try on the XL garment in a size set fitting at work...
Massive sad face!
Massive sad face!
a little push
so, just quickly, I have discovered something to give me that little push to get my mojo back.
Shopping on ASOS. Wait, hear me out.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE ASOS! BUT.... i can only buy a small selection of things on there. I know what i can't get away with wearing. But when I see all these gorgeous summer flippy dresses and skirts i want, nay, NEED to be able to wear them.
6 months, look for me. I will be the one in the short skirt and tank top. Yep, in the middle of May, I dont care. x
Shopping on ASOS. Wait, hear me out.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE ASOS! BUT.... i can only buy a small selection of things on there. I know what i can't get away with wearing. But when I see all these gorgeous summer flippy dresses and skirts i want, nay, NEED to be able to wear them.
6 months, look for me. I will be the one in the short skirt and tank top. Yep, in the middle of May, I dont care. x
Walk this way...
So lately (this week) i have been feeling a bit different. For the past 3 weeks i have been killing myself around the tan and feeling guilty if i wasnt running the whole way. This week i dont want to run. This week i have been walking. This week i am not feeling as pumped up.
Why?
Is it ok if i just walk? I mean, I am walking the whole way, I'm not taking short cuts, so technically I am still doing a fair chunk of exercise. But is it still going to help me make the change and see that result that I want? this makes me nervous. But it still doesnt make me want to run.
What's going on Brain? why you change your mood so rapidly?
I know I have blogged in the last few weeks about how great i am feeling, but not this week! Definately not this week. I feel flat, out of sorts, low. There is an anxiety bubble in my tummy and a lump in my throat. I know that it is normal to have highs and lows, i totally get that which is why I'm not in a panic over it, but that doesnt mean I like it.
Well I cant run home tonight cos i have to go to the dentist (joy!) but I am hoping that after that i will feel like going out and having amybe just a slow job around the tan.
I want to get that hunger back.
Cross your fingers for me x
Why?
Is it ok if i just walk? I mean, I am walking the whole way, I'm not taking short cuts, so technically I am still doing a fair chunk of exercise. But is it still going to help me make the change and see that result that I want? this makes me nervous. But it still doesnt make me want to run.
What's going on Brain? why you change your mood so rapidly?
I know I have blogged in the last few weeks about how great i am feeling, but not this week! Definately not this week. I feel flat, out of sorts, low. There is an anxiety bubble in my tummy and a lump in my throat. I know that it is normal to have highs and lows, i totally get that which is why I'm not in a panic over it, but that doesnt mean I like it.
Well I cant run home tonight cos i have to go to the dentist (joy!) but I am hoping that after that i will feel like going out and having amybe just a slow job around the tan.
I want to get that hunger back.
Cross your fingers for me x
Monday, 29 October 2012
Pinch Me....
Am i dreaming? Did this really actually happen?
THATS RIGHT.... IT DID!!!!!
1.3 kgs down this week. Whoop Whoop!!!!!
1.3kgs
pretty happy with myself today.
Smiles all round!!!
Happy monday :) x
THATS RIGHT.... IT DID!!!!!
1.3 kgs down this week. Whoop Whoop!!!!!
1.3kgs
pretty happy with myself today.
Smiles all round!!!
Happy monday :) x
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Sponsorship
You know if I can achieve anything through writing this blog and changing my lifestyle - it would be to inspire 1 person, just 1 person, to do the same.
I think having inspiration and motivation when you are going through such a challenge is beyond important and everyone needs to find it somewhere.
So while I am here trying to be inspirational and motivational, what's inspiring me?
I'll tell you. I have a 'sponsor'. Yep, just like AA. When I want to eat shit or cant be arsed going for a run I have someone to lean on who I know will make me do it with a simple phone call.
There's chocolate in the pantry - call my sponsor.
I want hot chips from the caff for lunch - call my sponsor.
Now I first need to say that I have oodles and caboodles of support from my family, every single on of them, so I'm not playing favourites here, but the one I call my sponsor is my sister, SS.
Here is a little something she sent me the other day to keep me motivated:
Now that's support and exactly what I needed at that point.
So a big thank you to not only SS but to my whole nut bunch of a family xx
I think having inspiration and motivation when you are going through such a challenge is beyond important and everyone needs to find it somewhere.
So while I am here trying to be inspirational and motivational, what's inspiring me?
I'll tell you. I have a 'sponsor'. Yep, just like AA. When I want to eat shit or cant be arsed going for a run I have someone to lean on who I know will make me do it with a simple phone call.
There's chocolate in the pantry - call my sponsor.
I want hot chips from the caff for lunch - call my sponsor.
Now I first need to say that I have oodles and caboodles of support from my family, every single on of them, so I'm not playing favourites here, but the one I call my sponsor is my sister, SS.
Here is a little something she sent me the other day to keep me motivated:
Be
patient and persevere
It might
take a week or two before you notice any changes, but they will steadily
appear. After the first month you'll be able to see the results and measure
them in terms of looser fitting clothes.
Keeping
your motivation up is one of the most difficult aspects of dieting. There will
be days when healthy eating goes out the window, and there will be weeks where
you may not lose any weight – or put a little back on.
This is
normal for everyone – dieters or not – so don't let it undo your plans for a
slimmer you. You're not doing anything 'wrong', but you may need to look at
your plan. Do you need to increase your activity levels? Make a few more
changes to your diet? Put more effort into sticking to your current plan?
The
other side of this is to make sure you celebrate your goals. While there's joy
enough in stepping on the scales and seeing them dip lower, be sure to mark
long-term progress with a reward – such as new clothes or time off from
domestic chores.
Celebrating
is also a way to involve your nearest and dearest – it's up to you whether you
want their encouragement in the form of gentle reminders not to eat certain
foods. But support from other people can get you through the bumpy patches.
Now that's support and exactly what I needed at that point.
So a big thank you to not only SS but to my whole nut bunch of a family xx
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
What if?
So I had my netball grandfinal tonight - we won!!! 34 to 5! yeah, thats how it's done!
BUT... afterwards we had a team photos - disaster! It was actually revolting and not just cos I am so overweight.
Riddle me this, what happens if I lose all the weight that I am planning on and I am still unattractive? I mean what if i still dont like the way i look?
What if under all this extra cush I am actually not pretty.
Cos at the moment I feel like when I lose weight I am going to be pretty cos i actually feel like a beautiful girl stuck in a fat girls body. What if I am wrong? What if i am actually just a really plain girl with a weight problem and so when i get rid of the weight i am just plain boring 'Girl'?
Thats whats making me freak out at the moment! What if losing the weight doesnt fix all the problems I am counting on it to fix? ARGH, I am doing my own head in!
Do I think too much?
Am I analysing everything too much?
Should I just relax and have faith?
Yes, yes and yes!
Ok, I will keep on keeping on x
BUT... afterwards we had a team photos - disaster! It was actually revolting and not just cos I am so overweight.
Riddle me this, what happens if I lose all the weight that I am planning on and I am still unattractive? I mean what if i still dont like the way i look?
What if under all this extra cush I am actually not pretty.
Cos at the moment I feel like when I lose weight I am going to be pretty cos i actually feel like a beautiful girl stuck in a fat girls body. What if I am wrong? What if i am actually just a really plain girl with a weight problem and so when i get rid of the weight i am just plain boring 'Girl'?
Thats whats making me freak out at the moment! What if losing the weight doesnt fix all the problems I am counting on it to fix? ARGH, I am doing my own head in!
Do I think too much?
Am I analysing everything too much?
Should I just relax and have faith?
Yes, yes and yes!
Ok, I will keep on keeping on x
Monday, 22 October 2012
Still? Really??
So weigh in this morning.... 300grams gone! Are you f**king kidding me??? I have worked my fat arse off!
I am running about 5kms 4-5 times a week and have cut my food intake by nearly half! And i have lost 600grams in 2 weeks??? I am so gutted over this! GUTTED!!!!!!
I even went for a run yesterday, SUNDAY, for crying out loud.
So I am writing this at my desk (naughty BUT i am on my lunch break), eating brown rice and tuna for lunch wondering why the hell am i bothering? All I want to do is go to the cafe and get a big stinking plate of hot chips with tons of salt, some aoili for dipping wouldnt hurt.
I have to stick it out this time, I know that, but if nothing happens soon it is going to be very hard to keep myself motivated.
I dont know what else to do, honestly, short of eating only fruit and vegetables 24/7, and let's be honest, that's not going to happen!
Buddah, Allah, Jesus, Ganesh, whoever you are, please help me!! x
I am running about 5kms 4-5 times a week and have cut my food intake by nearly half! And i have lost 600grams in 2 weeks??? I am so gutted over this! GUTTED!!!!!!
I even went for a run yesterday, SUNDAY, for crying out loud.
So I am writing this at my desk (naughty BUT i am on my lunch break), eating brown rice and tuna for lunch wondering why the hell am i bothering? All I want to do is go to the cafe and get a big stinking plate of hot chips with tons of salt, some aoili for dipping wouldnt hurt.
I have to stick it out this time, I know that, but if nothing happens soon it is going to be very hard to keep myself motivated.
I dont know what else to do, honestly, short of eating only fruit and vegetables 24/7, and let's be honest, that's not going to happen!
Buddah, Allah, Jesus, Ganesh, whoever you are, please help me!! x
Thursday, 18 October 2012
The start of something?
Since I have really committed myself to being healthy and losing weight, something has changed in me....
I have always been a fairly untidy person, messy if you will, but in the last 2 weeks I have made my bed every morning bar one, the monday that I didn't lose weight. My room has also remained clean and tidy, no clothes on the floor, no empty glasses on my bedside table.
Another thing, I have always been pretty slack with my skin care 'routine' and by routine I mean washing my face with your everyday bar of soap, but now I have had the urge to wash and moisturise my face regularily.
Oh and another thing, I haven't had a cigarette in two WHOLE weeks! now this is crazy... I haven't even though about it really, sure I have had the occasional urge, but nothing serious.
But the most important change I have noticed and by far the one I am most happy about...
Before I tell you, you need to know the extent of what this actually means to me. I have had problems with forms of depression and bad anxiety since I was about 16. Been to many counsellors and gone through some pretty emotional low spots. So when I was 20 I gave in and started taking anti-depressants. They helped, they changed my life! Now up and listen clearly, cos this is a BIG deal, I haven't taken these tablets for 2 weeks!!!!!! And I feel great!
Turns out all those people who tell you that exercising will not only help you lose weight and be healthy but it will make you feel good were right. you know the only thing about this that pisses me off? It took me 5 years to realise it, dumb FatGirl!!!!
I like feeling happy, I think I could get used it it. Here's to even higher highs x
I have always been a fairly untidy person, messy if you will, but in the last 2 weeks I have made my bed every morning bar one, the monday that I didn't lose weight. My room has also remained clean and tidy, no clothes on the floor, no empty glasses on my bedside table.
Another thing, I have always been pretty slack with my skin care 'routine' and by routine I mean washing my face with your everyday bar of soap, but now I have had the urge to wash and moisturise my face regularily.
Oh and another thing, I haven't had a cigarette in two WHOLE weeks! now this is crazy... I haven't even though about it really, sure I have had the occasional urge, but nothing serious.
But the most important change I have noticed and by far the one I am most happy about...
Before I tell you, you need to know the extent of what this actually means to me. I have had problems with forms of depression and bad anxiety since I was about 16. Been to many counsellors and gone through some pretty emotional low spots. So when I was 20 I gave in and started taking anti-depressants. They helped, they changed my life! Now up and listen clearly, cos this is a BIG deal, I haven't taken these tablets for 2 weeks!!!!!! And I feel great!
Turns out all those people who tell you that exercising will not only help you lose weight and be healthy but it will make you feel good were right. you know the only thing about this that pisses me off? It took me 5 years to realise it, dumb FatGirl!!!!
I like feeling happy, I think I could get used it it. Here's to even higher highs x
Waste or waist?
So I did something I am very proud of today....
Last night on my way home all I wanted was a diet coke and I thought I had a bottle of pepsi max in the fridge, now this sure isn't diet coke but I though it would do. When I got home I found, much to my despair, that it was normal pepsi, but I so wanted a soft drink that I thought I would just have a little bit, instead I had a big glass. When I got home tonight I really wanted some more, so you know what I did? I poured the whole big bottle straight down the sink!!!! all of it!
So this lead me to realise that it is better to waste food and drink that I don't need by destroying it than letting it blow out my waist. (clever heading, hey, haha)
Now firstly I shouldn't have had soft drink, or any bad foods, in the house because I know that when it's not available to me I wont eat it, I mostly never even think about bad foods if they aren't in the cupboard, but if I have a blip every now and then, because lets face it, I'm only human, the moment I realise that I don't even want whatever it is or when I have had enough, I need to get rid of whatever is left, even if that means wasting perfectly good food. So whatever its going to take, pouring water over cooked food, putting it in the rubbish bag with the kitty litter or just plain putting it in the bin. Now let me be clear here, I will only get rid of food when I have had enough, I am full or I know that I shouldn't even have it in the house.
So here is to FatGirl, food destroyer x
Last night on my way home all I wanted was a diet coke and I thought I had a bottle of pepsi max in the fridge, now this sure isn't diet coke but I though it would do. When I got home I found, much to my despair, that it was normal pepsi, but I so wanted a soft drink that I thought I would just have a little bit, instead I had a big glass. When I got home tonight I really wanted some more, so you know what I did? I poured the whole big bottle straight down the sink!!!! all of it!
So this lead me to realise that it is better to waste food and drink that I don't need by destroying it than letting it blow out my waist. (clever heading, hey, haha)
Now firstly I shouldn't have had soft drink, or any bad foods, in the house because I know that when it's not available to me I wont eat it, I mostly never even think about bad foods if they aren't in the cupboard, but if I have a blip every now and then, because lets face it, I'm only human, the moment I realise that I don't even want whatever it is or when I have had enough, I need to get rid of whatever is left, even if that means wasting perfectly good food. So whatever its going to take, pouring water over cooked food, putting it in the rubbish bag with the kitty litter or just plain putting it in the bin. Now let me be clear here, I will only get rid of food when I have had enough, I am full or I know that I shouldn't even have it in the house.
So here is to FatGirl, food destroyer x
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
In my mind...
Things to think about when you're running...
- What it will feel like when I can't feel my belly jiggling.
- Size 12 jeans
- wearing bathers at the beach
- what Ashton Kutcher would look like naked
- One day I will be able to run as well as that skinny bitch who just ran past me
- Being able to turn the exhaust fan on when I am in the shower cos I don't need to mirror to fog up so I cant see myself in the nude.
- Wanting to look at myself in the mirror when I am nude
- Short dresses
- compliments
- 1 chin
- That hot guy who just breezed past me.
- Talking to guys in bars instead of looking at my feet
- Not being knows as 'The funny one'
- people saying 'Have you lost weight'
- Being able to say 'Yes, yes I have'
- Being able to borrow my sisters clothes, SS, I'm looking at you.
- being able to buy clothes from the sample sale at work.
- Not being able to buy anything from 'My Size'
- Muscle definition
- Not crying in change rooms
- Seeing a photo of myself that I like
- My family being proud of me
- I won't sweat when its over 22 degrees
- Being healthy and at lower risk of health problems (VERY important one)
- If I was at home right now I would be sitting on the couch, eating
- No more 'Pants Dance'
- THAT hot guy that just ran past me
- skinny bitch, I will get you one day....
- I feel better than I did yesterday...
x
I am ready.
You know that you are overweight when people stop disagreeing with you.
I spent most of my high schools years having an issue with my weight and when I voiced my concerns with my loved ones, mostly the response I got was 'Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to loose ANY weight'. Eventually it started to become, if loosing a few kilos would make you happier then it wouldn't hurt, but you don't NEED to loose weight' to 'You can do it and you have my support!'. That's when it really hurts....
My feeling aren't hurt necessarily, but my ego definitely is! I have spent most of my life being quite fit and slim. When did this happen?
I am so mad at myself for letting this happen!! Why didn't I do something when my jeans got tight? Why did I just buy new jeans and pretend it wasn't happening? Why did I keep telling myself it was fine? Why did I let it get this far?
Answer: It was my crutch for everything else I didn't like in my life.
It is only now that I am starting to feel like everything is coming together in my life that I am ready to commit to loosing this weight. That I am ready to focus on it completely and give it my all. I am finally ready to make my happiness my priority. Above everything else I want to look in the mirror and smile, I honestly can't remember the last time that happened.
Say it with me, 'I am ready'. x
I spent most of my high schools years having an issue with my weight and when I voiced my concerns with my loved ones, mostly the response I got was 'Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to loose ANY weight'. Eventually it started to become, if loosing a few kilos would make you happier then it wouldn't hurt, but you don't NEED to loose weight' to 'You can do it and you have my support!'. That's when it really hurts....
My feeling aren't hurt necessarily, but my ego definitely is! I have spent most of my life being quite fit and slim. When did this happen?
I am so mad at myself for letting this happen!! Why didn't I do something when my jeans got tight? Why did I just buy new jeans and pretend it wasn't happening? Why did I keep telling myself it was fine? Why did I let it get this far?
Answer: It was my crutch for everything else I didn't like in my life.
It is only now that I am starting to feel like everything is coming together in my life that I am ready to commit to loosing this weight. That I am ready to focus on it completely and give it my all. I am finally ready to make my happiness my priority. Above everything else I want to look in the mirror and smile, I honestly can't remember the last time that happened.
Say it with me, 'I am ready'. x
Monday, 15 October 2012
I've got rhythm....
In my opinion one of the most important parts of my run is my playlist, seriously!
Music is such a huge motivator while I am running and can make things so much easier, it can be from the lyrics, the beat, what it makes me think of.... so I am going to share with you my carefully selected playlist and why I chose these songs.....
1. Lose Yourself - Eminem.When I am listening to this song running, I picture myself punching the air as I run, rocky style, it makes me feel like a tough bad ass.
2. Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye. I dedicate this song to all the arseholes guys I have wasted my time on until this point in my life. God, thinking about all these wankers and how much they are going to rue the day they ever fucked me over, what more do I need to run harder? I am even hitting the keys harder typing right now.... ARGH!
3. Fighter - Christina Aguilera. This is my theme song (in my head) "I am a fighter, I aint gonna stop, there is no turning back". Enough said.
4. Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson. Weird choice, I know, but when it cuts loose it makes me feel a little bit crazy and keeps me going. And not only that but it makes me think of everyone who doesn't take me seriously and thinks I am a bit of a joke and to them I say "I'll show you, tools!". And it has a crazy beat!
5. Future Starts Slow - The Kills. Mad beat for running too. Drums are what does it. And the title is very appropriate, I think.
6. Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson. I dedicate this song to one particular arse hole. This is the person who made me uncomfortable about my weight in the first place and 5 years later still thinks he has the right to comment on what I need to do to get where I want to be. Not that I am doing ANY of this for him, but thinking about him makes me so frustrated I run harder. Good enough for me.
7. Parlez Vous Francais - Art vs. Science. Rad beat to this song that I can run in time too. Fantastic running song, get on it!!!
8. Single Ladies - Beyonce. Just makes me want to dance and jump around. Makes me feel energetic, which is kind of a benefit when you're running, in case you didn't know. And also, thinking of JT dancing to this song in a leotard is a great, funny distraction to take my mind of running.
9. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard. This is without a doubt, the sexiest song I have ever heard. If this song doesnt make you want to dance suggestively in small clothes I dont know what will and the image of being able to dance like I do in my head when this song is on makes me want to lose the weight even more, not that I think I would ever actually dance like that.... hahahaha!
10. Your Love Is My Drug - Kesha. Now let's get one thing straight, I am not really a Kesha fan but this is a damn good running song. The beat makes me move and that is the bottom line here!
11. Banquet - Bloc Party. This song is, without a doubt, the best song to run to there is. And for only 1 reason... The beat. It is incredible. I can run in time to the beat and pound the track so hard and it just keeps me going. There is no other song I love listening to when I run more than this one and if anyone ever asked me the best running song, I wouldnt hesitate. Download it. Now!
12. Rolling In The Deep - Adele. Again, the beat. THe lyrics arent really relevant to me in any way that comes to mind to motivate me to run but the beat is nice and steady. I also know all the words so I can sing in my head to distract myself.
13. Paper Planes - MIA. just a great song. nice 'BANG BANG BANG' beat to keep you going, easy to run to.
14. Stronger - Britney Spears. I am stronger than yesterday, and I'm not going to give up, and I AM going to work harder. You said it Britney, you said it.
15. Some Nights - Fun. This such a great, fast paced song. It is really great to run to because of its quick tempo. Good one.
16. Mind Your Manners - Chiddy Bang. Defo the most random of my song lyrics and I have to credit my brother in law for this one cos I randomly heard it when he was playing it in the car the other day. "There is no one like me...' Damn straight!!!!!!! quickly climbing to the top of my running list....
I just LOVE this song.
Download, Play, Run, Enjoy xx
Music is such a huge motivator while I am running and can make things so much easier, it can be from the lyrics, the beat, what it makes me think of.... so I am going to share with you my carefully selected playlist and why I chose these songs.....
1. Lose Yourself - Eminem.When I am listening to this song running, I picture myself punching the air as I run, rocky style, it makes me feel like a tough bad ass.
2. Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye. I dedicate this song to all the arseholes guys I have wasted my time on until this point in my life. God, thinking about all these wankers and how much they are going to rue the day they ever fucked me over, what more do I need to run harder? I am even hitting the keys harder typing right now.... ARGH!
3. Fighter - Christina Aguilera. This is my theme song (in my head) "I am a fighter, I aint gonna stop, there is no turning back". Enough said.
4. Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson. Weird choice, I know, but when it cuts loose it makes me feel a little bit crazy and keeps me going. And not only that but it makes me think of everyone who doesn't take me seriously and thinks I am a bit of a joke and to them I say "I'll show you, tools!". And it has a crazy beat!
5. Future Starts Slow - The Kills. Mad beat for running too. Drums are what does it. And the title is very appropriate, I think.
6. Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson. I dedicate this song to one particular arse hole. This is the person who made me uncomfortable about my weight in the first place and 5 years later still thinks he has the right to comment on what I need to do to get where I want to be. Not that I am doing ANY of this for him, but thinking about him makes me so frustrated I run harder. Good enough for me.
7. Parlez Vous Francais - Art vs. Science. Rad beat to this song that I can run in time too. Fantastic running song, get on it!!!
8. Single Ladies - Beyonce. Just makes me want to dance and jump around. Makes me feel energetic, which is kind of a benefit when you're running, in case you didn't know. And also, thinking of JT dancing to this song in a leotard is a great, funny distraction to take my mind of running.
9. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard. This is without a doubt, the sexiest song I have ever heard. If this song doesnt make you want to dance suggestively in small clothes I dont know what will and the image of being able to dance like I do in my head when this song is on makes me want to lose the weight even more, not that I think I would ever actually dance like that.... hahahaha!
10. Your Love Is My Drug - Kesha. Now let's get one thing straight, I am not really a Kesha fan but this is a damn good running song. The beat makes me move and that is the bottom line here!
11. Banquet - Bloc Party. This song is, without a doubt, the best song to run to there is. And for only 1 reason... The beat. It is incredible. I can run in time to the beat and pound the track so hard and it just keeps me going. There is no other song I love listening to when I run more than this one and if anyone ever asked me the best running song, I wouldnt hesitate. Download it. Now!
12. Rolling In The Deep - Adele. Again, the beat. THe lyrics arent really relevant to me in any way that comes to mind to motivate me to run but the beat is nice and steady. I also know all the words so I can sing in my head to distract myself.
13. Paper Planes - MIA. just a great song. nice 'BANG BANG BANG' beat to keep you going, easy to run to.
14. Stronger - Britney Spears. I am stronger than yesterday, and I'm not going to give up, and I AM going to work harder. You said it Britney, you said it.
15. Some Nights - Fun. This such a great, fast paced song. It is really great to run to because of its quick tempo. Good one.
16. Mind Your Manners - Chiddy Bang. Defo the most random of my song lyrics and I have to credit my brother in law for this one cos I randomly heard it when he was playing it in the car the other day. "There is no one like me...' Damn straight!!!!!!! quickly climbing to the top of my running list....
I just LOVE this song.
Download, Play, Run, Enjoy xx
Why I don't like Mondays...
So I'll be honest, today wasn't a great day.
My first weigh in and I have been pushing myself so hard this week... I went to my parents house for dinner on saturday night. These dinners ALWAYS consist of too much red wine, copious amounts of DELICIOUS food and an irresistible dessert, it's just the way it goes. BUT... i had one glass of wine, none of the scalloped potatoes (YUM! cream, butter and cheese.... AND potato) and no dessert, NONE! I have never done that before, EVER!...
And you know what? I didnt loose any weight. are you kidding me? (well technically I lost 300grams, but I am 100% certain that was because that bitch Florence was visiting me last week) I was devestated this morning.... so my day started off with tears! :(
Anyways after talking to my parents and getting some words of wisdom from my sponsor (aka sister 1) I decided to get over it and not dwell on it because they all promised me that it was only my 1st week and you dont normally loose much weight in your first week and if i continue to do what i am doing it will start to fall off.... they better bloody hope they are right!
Anyways, I wasnt that good to myself today and at some bun and a jam biscuit at work this morning. Bad fatgirl! but i substituted with rice crackers and hommus for lunch and stir fried vegies for dinner...
Anyway, I still ran home from work and wasnt terrible today so I am aiming for a better Monday next week.... fingers crossed for me xx
My first weigh in and I have been pushing myself so hard this week... I went to my parents house for dinner on saturday night. These dinners ALWAYS consist of too much red wine, copious amounts of DELICIOUS food and an irresistible dessert, it's just the way it goes. BUT... i had one glass of wine, none of the scalloped potatoes (YUM! cream, butter and cheese.... AND potato) and no dessert, NONE! I have never done that before, EVER!...
And you know what? I didnt loose any weight. are you kidding me? (well technically I lost 300grams, but I am 100% certain that was because that bitch Florence was visiting me last week) I was devestated this morning.... so my day started off with tears! :(
Anyways after talking to my parents and getting some words of wisdom from my sponsor (aka sister 1) I decided to get over it and not dwell on it because they all promised me that it was only my 1st week and you dont normally loose much weight in your first week and if i continue to do what i am doing it will start to fall off.... they better bloody hope they are right!
Anyways, I wasnt that good to myself today and at some bun and a jam biscuit at work this morning. Bad fatgirl! but i substituted with rice crackers and hommus for lunch and stir fried vegies for dinner...
Anyway, I still ran home from work and wasnt terrible today so I am aiming for a better Monday next week.... fingers crossed for me xx
Thursday, 11 October 2012
B.L.U.E
I'm not going to lie to you... I feel like shit today! Yep, one of those days.
I've done everything I am supposed to do to feel good.... ran around the tan (further than usual), did housework, had a glass of wine, hat a long hot shower but i still feel really flat. Why?
Well I feel pretty lonely! I have been single for 6 years and I'm only 25! I just want someone to talk to about my day and have dinner with and all the little things like that, yeah, I have my awesome housemate, but that's just not the same! Being single is particularly tough when all those closest to you are happily coupled up. Parents, sisters, best friends, people at work....
So let me ask this? Why am I single? I am funny, driven, compassionate, kind.... oh yeah, I'm overweight! You know I see plenty of overweight people in happy relationships and this has made me come to the realisation that people will only value you as much as you value yourself. You give off energies, seriously, that people pick up on, our own kind of pheromone! I walk around giving out a pheromone that I am not good enough for anyone and the majority of this energy output I give off comes from being so dissatisfied by my body. But what worries me is, what happens if I lose the weight and I still feel like this? Weight is a massive problem for my self confidence but there are other things I dont like about myself.... what if i get to my goal weight and I still give off this negative energy? what if i end up alone? It is a strong possibility, it happens to plenty of people and to be quite honest, it is my worst nightmare.
So let me be honest with you, again, I have very high standards! I will NEVER settle, i just cant do it. I want the heart beating in my throat, constant butterflies, totally swept of my feet kind of love, I want 'The Notebook' love. Does this exist? I have been in love before and it was amazing! Honestly, I thought I had met my soulmate, but I was so young that sometimes I question if it was real, it ended so badly and the person I was so in love with is gone. He is not the same person. So what if it wasnt love and what if what i am looking for isnt actually reality? Will i be lonely forever?
Then I look at the way my dad loves my mum and I realise that what I want does exist. I want someone to love me when I am 60 the way my dad loves my mum.
God, i sound so dramatic! I am only 25 and I think I am going to be alone forever. What i need to focus on is all the positive things I am doing in my life at the moment and have faith in the fact that being positive and taking all these positive steps IS going to change my life the way I am hoping and planning it will....
It's just one day and I know I will snap out of it!!
At the end of the day, EVERYONE has bad days, everyone has days when they want to lie in bed and have a little teary, everyone feels like this at some point in their life.
AND in actual fact, I am far from being alone. I have the most beautifully amazing 2 sisters who are my best friends, I have parent second to none who would do anything for me, who I can talk to about anything, I have a housemate who makes our apartment my home and I have 2 cats who love me unconditionally, So HA-DE-HA-HA to myself!
Thank you for letting me vent like this, cos I tell you what, I feel much better now. x
I've done everything I am supposed to do to feel good.... ran around the tan (further than usual), did housework, had a glass of wine, hat a long hot shower but i still feel really flat. Why?
Well I feel pretty lonely! I have been single for 6 years and I'm only 25! I just want someone to talk to about my day and have dinner with and all the little things like that, yeah, I have my awesome housemate, but that's just not the same! Being single is particularly tough when all those closest to you are happily coupled up. Parents, sisters, best friends, people at work....
So let me ask this? Why am I single? I am funny, driven, compassionate, kind.... oh yeah, I'm overweight! You know I see plenty of overweight people in happy relationships and this has made me come to the realisation that people will only value you as much as you value yourself. You give off energies, seriously, that people pick up on, our own kind of pheromone! I walk around giving out a pheromone that I am not good enough for anyone and the majority of this energy output I give off comes from being so dissatisfied by my body. But what worries me is, what happens if I lose the weight and I still feel like this? Weight is a massive problem for my self confidence but there are other things I dont like about myself.... what if i get to my goal weight and I still give off this negative energy? what if i end up alone? It is a strong possibility, it happens to plenty of people and to be quite honest, it is my worst nightmare.
So let me be honest with you, again, I have very high standards! I will NEVER settle, i just cant do it. I want the heart beating in my throat, constant butterflies, totally swept of my feet kind of love, I want 'The Notebook' love. Does this exist? I have been in love before and it was amazing! Honestly, I thought I had met my soulmate, but I was so young that sometimes I question if it was real, it ended so badly and the person I was so in love with is gone. He is not the same person. So what if it wasnt love and what if what i am looking for isnt actually reality? Will i be lonely forever?
Then I look at the way my dad loves my mum and I realise that what I want does exist. I want someone to love me when I am 60 the way my dad loves my mum.
God, i sound so dramatic! I am only 25 and I think I am going to be alone forever. What i need to focus on is all the positive things I am doing in my life at the moment and have faith in the fact that being positive and taking all these positive steps IS going to change my life the way I am hoping and planning it will....
It's just one day and I know I will snap out of it!!
At the end of the day, EVERYONE has bad days, everyone has days when they want to lie in bed and have a little teary, everyone feels like this at some point in their life.
AND in actual fact, I am far from being alone. I have the most beautifully amazing 2 sisters who are my best friends, I have parent second to none who would do anything for me, who I can talk to about anything, I have a housemate who makes our apartment my home and I have 2 cats who love me unconditionally, So HA-DE-HA-HA to myself!
Thank you for letting me vent like this, cos I tell you what, I feel much better now. x
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
The Tan.
Incase you were wondering, apart from trying to eat like a normal person and not for a starving family of 4, I am also running, as much as I can, around the Tan, a Melbourne icon.
For me, the problem with exercise has been coming home after work and trying to find the motivation to get changed and leave my cosy little abode again. To exercise, blugh! So, i have come up with the perfect solution!! Since I live in South Yarra and work in Richmond (literally just over the bridge) I had been walking to work and then one day I though, why don't I run to work. And then I came up with plenty of excuses... I will be sweaty and gross when I get to work. What would I do with my handbag?It only takes me half an hour to walk to work so running that short distance is hardly worth it. So i just thought I would be happy with my little stroll to and from work every morning and afternoon.
*I just want to jump in here and change the topic for a second... I am so sick of excuses!!!!! There is far, FAR, more reasons why I should get off my arse and do something than reasons why i shouldn't! And that goes for you too, yes YOU.*
So then I came up with the plan to run home from work. And then I thought, where would I put all my stuff (clothes, wallet, phone etc.), oh, I know, I will get a backpack, a proper running backpack with waist strap and all. Googled it (my answer to EVERYTHING) and came up with the Nike Cheyenne Vapour backpack! AMAZE!
The only problem? It seems every other smart, savvy, lovely lady like myself had the same idea and I couldn't find one anywhere! So that gave me another excuse. Can't get the bag, can't do the run home.... WRONG! There are plenty of great running backpacks available and here is the one I chose:
I can't tell you how fabulous this backpack from 2XU is! Its so comfortable, has a great waist strap to stop it bouncing around, has a handy little earphone hole so that my phone can stay tucked safely in one of the interior pockets and i can still listen to my carefully selected playlist, magic! In the last 3 days, and yes I know thats not very long, this bag has changed my life!
So with no more excuses I have been leaving work and running home via the Tan. It takes me about an hour, including the walk down Toorak road after my run.
So let's talk about why the tan is so fabulous. I was talking to my dad about the why I like the Tan so much the other day.... I like it because I don't feel alone. There is a strange solidarity while running around the Tan. Everyone is there doing the same as what you are. Now don't get me wrong, there are plenty of skinny cows zipping around me striding over the track seemingly effortlessly while I plod and huff'n'puff my way along, but I don't care because they are out there, with me, running for their very own reason, and I don't care because in 6 months I plan to be one of those skinny cows! There is also u
Eye candy. Yep! There is plenty of it on the Tan, let me tell you. This is great for 2 reasons:
1- It makes me run harder because I don't want to look to pathetic running past Mr. Hot-Hotpants!
2- it motivates me because (and feel free to call me shallow) I know that when I lose my 25kg these guys will be checking me out.
Anyway, what I am getting at here is that running home is working really well for me and I am really enjoying my evening runs around the Tan.
I'm looking forward to the battle tomorrow night. x
Anyway, what I am getting at here is that running home is working really well for me and I am really enjoying my evening runs around the Tan.
I'm looking forward to the battle tomorrow night. x
The most important part
What I put into my big mouth (apart from my fist, it fits... party trick!!)
Did you know that if you eat chocolate and lollies and chips and ice cream by the packet/block/tub full then you are going to put on weight? Gosh, I am so smart! I guess I am discovering this a little too late, hey....
For me, being on a 'diet' has never worked in the past. I go so well for maybe a week and then I cave and when I cave I think oh well, fuck it, lets just keep going.... WRONG! Don't keep going! The thing is it's NORMAL to want to eat these things and in my opinion, its allowed.
I'm going to liken being on a diet to seeing mr hotty-mc-hotness down the street, in the pub, on the tram, wherever. You see hotty-mc-hotness and you think God, I want him! And you know that's not going to happen... makes you want and dream about him even more, right? So what if this 'dream guy' came up to you and was all "Hey, lets go get dinner', you would be like, um, no thanks weird stranger asking me to dinner! Because you got what you wanted. You always want what you cant have. The moment you deny yourself something by telling yourself you cant have it you want it even more, right? This is why I can eat whatever I want.
Ok so now your like, this crazy chick thinks she's going to lose weight by eating whatever she wants, lets watch her crash and burn, but there is, of course, a method to my madness. I can eat whatever I want, as long as I actually really feel like eating it and as long as I stop when I have had enough. I know that this sounds easy and really stupid, but I am the girl who would eat 2 chocolate bars for breakfast if I had to go to the servo to put petrol in my car. Honestly. Now do you think I actually felt like eating chocolate at 7.15am? I didn't. Do you think after eating one chocolate bar I felt like eating another? I didn't. But I still did it, and that is NOT normal. So all I am trying to do is to eat normally.
Do you want to know what the craziest thing is? As soon as I am allowed to eat chocolate and lollies and shit, the temptation goes away, because I know I can have it. You always want what you cant have, but when you can have it, you don't want it anymore. It's true!!!!!
Try it, I dare you! I double dare you x
Did you know that if you eat chocolate and lollies and chips and ice cream by the packet/block/tub full then you are going to put on weight? Gosh, I am so smart! I guess I am discovering this a little too late, hey....
For me, being on a 'diet' has never worked in the past. I go so well for maybe a week and then I cave and when I cave I think oh well, fuck it, lets just keep going.... WRONG! Don't keep going! The thing is it's NORMAL to want to eat these things and in my opinion, its allowed.
I'm going to liken being on a diet to seeing mr hotty-mc-hotness down the street, in the pub, on the tram, wherever. You see hotty-mc-hotness and you think God, I want him! And you know that's not going to happen... makes you want and dream about him even more, right? So what if this 'dream guy' came up to you and was all "Hey, lets go get dinner', you would be like, um, no thanks weird stranger asking me to dinner! Because you got what you wanted. You always want what you cant have. The moment you deny yourself something by telling yourself you cant have it you want it even more, right? This is why I can eat whatever I want.
Ok so now your like, this crazy chick thinks she's going to lose weight by eating whatever she wants, lets watch her crash and burn, but there is, of course, a method to my madness. I can eat whatever I want, as long as I actually really feel like eating it and as long as I stop when I have had enough. I know that this sounds easy and really stupid, but I am the girl who would eat 2 chocolate bars for breakfast if I had to go to the servo to put petrol in my car. Honestly. Now do you think I actually felt like eating chocolate at 7.15am? I didn't. Do you think after eating one chocolate bar I felt like eating another? I didn't. But I still did it, and that is NOT normal. So all I am trying to do is to eat normally.
Do you want to know what the craziest thing is? As soon as I am allowed to eat chocolate and lollies and shit, the temptation goes away, because I know I can have it. You always want what you cant have, but when you can have it, you don't want it anymore. It's true!!!!!
Try it, I dare you! I double dare you x
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
It Ain't Easy
I have tried, and failed, more times than I can count to loose weight and somehow, as I sit here writing this, I am heavier than I have ever been, and ever imagined I would be, in my entire life!
Losing weight isn't easy and if anyone has ever told you anything different, they lied. I haven been to doctors, dieticians, personal trainers, psychologists, gyms and group fitness training, I have bought diet shakes, weight loss pills, herbal remedies and self help books and you know what I learnt from all the time and money I invested into these things? No one can change this except me, and I mean NO ONE!
So what's different this time? I cant even tell you exactly what it is, but I can tell you that it's different. I am excited and motivated, I can see the end point, I have realistic, achievable goals and I am ready.
Ok then, let's talk about me for a minute, I'm good at this. I am 25, live in Melbourne, South Yarra, and work in Richmond. I'm single (big shock, I know), live with a wonderful housemate, my 2 cats and our 3 shared fish, have the most supportive and loving family you can ever possibly imagine, have pretty much my dream job working in the fashion industry... and I am overweight.
The nitty gritty- I am 181cm tall and I weigh 100kg. I am a size 16 in most brands but, and there is a lump in my throat admitting to this, I own clothes in bigger sizes than a 16.
The goals- 1kg per week, gone. To be 75kg. To be a size 12. To be able to wear shorts when it's hot. To not get my finger stuck in my belly button like a little suction cup. To feel like a hot piece of ass!
Now if you're going to read my blog I should probably warn you of a few things:
1. I dont have a degree in English, so please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes you may come across.
2. I can be brutally honest, some might call it abrupt.
3. I have a heart bigger than my belly and what I really want this Blog to do is inspire, motivate, help you or at least maybe make you giggle.
So stay tuned and enjoy x
Losing weight isn't easy and if anyone has ever told you anything different, they lied. I haven been to doctors, dieticians, personal trainers, psychologists, gyms and group fitness training, I have bought diet shakes, weight loss pills, herbal remedies and self help books and you know what I learnt from all the time and money I invested into these things? No one can change this except me, and I mean NO ONE!
So what's different this time? I cant even tell you exactly what it is, but I can tell you that it's different. I am excited and motivated, I can see the end point, I have realistic, achievable goals and I am ready.
Ok then, let's talk about me for a minute, I'm good at this. I am 25, live in Melbourne, South Yarra, and work in Richmond. I'm single (big shock, I know), live with a wonderful housemate, my 2 cats and our 3 shared fish, have the most supportive and loving family you can ever possibly imagine, have pretty much my dream job working in the fashion industry... and I am overweight.
The nitty gritty- I am 181cm tall and I weigh 100kg. I am a size 16 in most brands but, and there is a lump in my throat admitting to this, I own clothes in bigger sizes than a 16.
The goals- 1kg per week, gone. To be 75kg. To be a size 12. To be able to wear shorts when it's hot. To not get my finger stuck in my belly button like a little suction cup. To feel like a hot piece of ass!
Now if you're going to read my blog I should probably warn you of a few things:
1. I dont have a degree in English, so please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes you may come across.
2. I can be brutally honest, some might call it abrupt.
3. I have a heart bigger than my belly and what I really want this Blog to do is inspire, motivate, help you or at least maybe make you giggle.
So stay tuned and enjoy x
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