Today is a very Black day!
i dont want to talk to anyone, i dont want to see anyone, i want to stay in bed all day.
I havent felt this low in a REALLY long time!
i actually put on 100grams this week and I know its not much and i have still lost over 4 kgs in 6 weeks, but it hit me really hard. I am working so hard and trying with all of my will poweer to make this work, so when i take a step backwards i feel like a major failure.
All I want is to lose weight. Seriously! I would give up nearly everything in my life to be able to to lose the weight that i want.... It is so hard, doing this. Motivating myself, keeping in the end point in sight, knowing that what i am soing should be working...
You know, even last night I really just wanted to chill out on the couch, but I went for a run. It was the last thing i wanted to do, I had just got home from my parents house and really just felt like lying down and watching a movie, but i DIDNT!!!!!!
I still havent had any alcohol in 3 weeks, i dont eat chocolate or lollies, i dont have soft drink.... Seriously. what the frick! I am so angry and devastated about this week, completely crushed!
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